Bodacious Business Horoscopes: Languorous Libra!

Your Libra workmates never met a decision they didn't want to ponder (and assess, and mull over, and...).
Your Libra workmates never met a decision they didn’t want to ponder (and assess, and mull over, and…).

The next “Bodacious Business Horoscopes” entry features that lighter-than-air seeker of balance and partnership, Libra the Scales. The zodiac system’s most diligent diplomat tends to tip both ends of the scales in pursuit of fairness (from September 22 or 23 to October 22).

Although Librans may seem impetuous “doers,” they are deep thinkers who take their time assessing a work situation before plunging into action mode.

More than likely, the Librans who work with you or for you are in the marketing or corporate communications department. They possess a knack for making presentations and being gracious when representing your organization to the outside world.

Disclaimer: This post is a business parody of Western astrology. By All Writes isn’t responsible for any seismic activity, positive or negative, your company experiences as a result of this month’s profile about the Librans on your payroll. Please don’t let Libra’s scales tip you on the way out…

Libra Is the Zodiac’s Cardinal Air Sign–Here’s What It Means for Your Business: As mentioned way back in (crabby) Cancer’s Bodacious Business Horoscope, cardinal signs are the domineering pulse points of the astrological world.

Because Librans are all about balance and propelling ideas into action, they are fantastic business networkers. Don’t believe me? Here’s a direct quote from Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone website:

“Libras do their best work bouncing ideas off others and working in partnerships and team situations. Their active, authoritative, cardinal quality brings them in contact with successful overachievers like themselves, so they quickly build a database of influential friends, associates, and contacts.”

No One Is More Astrologically Calm, Cool, and Collect Than a Libra: Outwardly, the Librans in your office appear quite calm and even-keeled, but the key to understanding how they process information is their symbol, the scales.

When pursuing perfection, a typical Libra realizes balance is achieved by the back-and-forth momentum of lively discussion with peers and higher-ups.

The perfect metaphor for Libra’s “cool on the outside, simmering with opinions on the inside” duality is Lily Tomlin’s sly performance as Violet Newstead in the film 9 to 5.

In particular, I’m referencing the scene in which she pretends to be a doctor. Violet rolls what she assumes to be the corpse of her dastardly sexist boss, Mr. Hart, out of the hospital and into the trunk of her car. You need to watch the movie (alas, I couldn’t isolate the specific clip) to appreciate this comparison!

When cobbling together a project team, including at least one Libra in the group’s composition will ensure everyone’s opinion is solicited before decisions are made. Do keep in mind that Libra works best in a harmonious environment. These peeps require mental stimulation that is classical, refined, and purposeful.

Best gifts for your Libra amigos: a jumbo business-card organizer, a poster with quotes from Buddha or Confucius, the best version of the Evernote app money can buy, a CD of your local philharmonic’s greatest hits, and a membership to the nearest art museum.

Libras Are Team-Oriented Workers Who Dread Being Alone: In general, employees and leaders whose sun sign falls into Libra’s house are enforcers of diplomacy. You can count on a Libra to “have your back” when attempting to champion a company initiative for your employees’ or community’s well-being.

Your Librans’ most positive traits: a sense of fairness, good negotiation skills, they don’t shy away from worthy causes, sincere, they communicate well, excellent mediators, clear opinions and strong beliefs (but can sometimes be overbearing about them).

Whether related to you by blood or nondisclosure agreement, Libra plays fair and is eminently qualified to achieve the internal consensus you desire for important business decisions.

Libran Employees and Executives Might Sulk and Display Inertia Whilst Attaining Their Almighty Balance: All zodiac signs have their negative traits, and Libra is no exception. Yes, the Librans who work with you or for you are probably the most fair-minded professionals you’ll ever know.

But an interesting perception of this particular zodiac sign is one of laziness. Practically every website and book I used to research Libra’s personal traits alluded to “lax” behavior! Here’s the closest thing to an objective statement I could find regarding Libra’s “L word” (compliments of Astrology Online):

“In their work, the description ‘lazy Libra’ which is sometimes given is actually more alliterative than true. Librans can be surprisingly energetic, though it is true that they dislike coarse, dirty work.”

Other less-than-stellar traits associated with Libra: fearful, indecisive, overbearing, narcissistic, and flirtatious (but not a bad thing if this behavior wins over a workplace naysayer or agitator!). Your thoughtful Librans aren’t deliberately trying to drive you mad when deftly tiptoeing toward their decisions.

But take heed: If you don’t allow Libra to balance the scales, you will be on the wrong side of his or her one-person jury. Even the Egyptians understood the wisdom of balancing their hearts against the feather of Ma’at when Osiris judged their individual fates in the underworld

Libras Are Fantastic Diplomats and Marketing Executives, Among Other Professions: Born with a gift of gab and a desire to treat others justly, the Librans in your office building are drawn to the law (both as attorneys and police officers), politics, and anything involving diplomatic work. But that’s not all…

With a keen eye for design, Libra also enjoys being compensated for his or her fashion, art, or graphic-design skills. Adroit when speaking in front of an audience, Librans also thrive in marketing and entrepreneurial endeavors. Perhaps a few of these professional scale-holders will sound familiar to you:

Lilliane Bettincourt, whose father, Eugene Schueller, founded L’Oréal in 1907. Her estate is currently valued at $36 to $37 billion; that’s a lot of cosmetics and hair dye…

Leo Burnett, advertising executive, founder of the hallowed Leo Burnett Worldwide. Hurrah for Morris the Cat, the Pillsbury Doughboy, and the Jolly Green Giant!

Garrett Camp, who doubled down as a digital entrepreneur by being a co-founder of StumbleUpon and Uber. He hails from Calgary, Canada…

E. E. Cummings, poet. (Nope, not a businessman, but perhaps my favorite poet of all time.)

Collette Dinnigan, a fashion designer from South Africa who boldly creates lingerie for ladies who shop at Target!

Donna Karan, fashion designer. She’s moving on from her famous DKNY and DK brands to her new Urban Zen brand and foundation…

Ray Kroc, a milkshake-machine salesman who discovered his McDonald’s future at age 52 in San Bernardino, California, 1954…

Ralph Lauren, fashion designer. (His daughter Dylan’s candy is dandy, but fashion is his passion…)

Gwen Stefani, lead singer of No Doubt who built a business empire with her L.A.M.B and Harajuku Lovers fashion and fragrance labels…

A Completely Speculative Business Interpretation of Libra’s Astral Assets: Here’s something you don’t see every day–a business interpretation of a zodiac sign’s ruling planet, lucky day, lucky numbers, and primary colors.

When hiring new employees, please refrain from asking about these astrological bits and pieces during the interview process:

Ruling Planet = Venus (Some Libras dispense a lot of fair-minded love; others will lure you in with their logic, just like a Venus flytrap…)

Lucky Day = Friday (Ask a Libran if this is his/her favorite day of the week and you’ll receive a lecture that every day could be a favorite!)

Lucky Numbers = 6, 15, 24, 33, 42, 51, 60 (I’ll speculate that many Librans are secret Bingo enthusiasts…)

Primary Colors = blue, mauve/purple, green, pink (Libra’s birthstone is the sapphire, so think all shades of blue regarding gifts of jewelry…)

Final Snide Commentary on Libra the Scales by the Author of Born on a Rotten Day: My favorite acerbic astrologer, Hazel Dixon-Cooper, considers working Libras  “human seesaws” whose refined tastes are revealed at the office. Her (cherry-picked) scathing commentary on Libran bosses and subordinates:

“Leo bosses pit the staff against one another to keep everyone off guard. He will poll the entire office before announcing a decision he has already chosen in order to have somewhere to lay blame if it turns out wrong…Your Libra boss will consider himself as wise as Gandhi, but his smirking observations more closely resemble Groucho Marx…Your Libra co-worker will be too busy gossiping on the phone, writing correspondence, or grabbing a quickie with the UPS deliveryman to think about grabbing your job.”


Does Libra the Scales rule your birthdate? If so, did this profile trigger any head shakes for you regarding accuracy? What other interpretive traits would you add to this zodiac sign from a business perspective?

For those of you with a birthday dwelling in another house, I will slice and dice your sun sign via (virtual) Ginsu knife in an upcoming blog post.

Toward the end of October, I’ll aim my astrological laser beam at myself, for I am Scorpio the Scorpion. You can run now if it comforts you, but hold your own snide commentary until next month. You’ve been warned!

In the meantime, please share this post with the fair and balanced Libra working by your side or in the next cubicle…

Lori Shapiro is the owner of By All Writes LLC, a business-to-business (B2B) writing, editing, and research company in Marlton, New Jersey. She revels in shielding her clients from the pain of writing their own print or web marketing and educational copy. Please call Lori Shapiro at 856-810-9764 or e-mail By All Writes LLC at  for a no-obligation project quote today!

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