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Bodacious Business Horoscopes: Swashbuckling Sagittarius!

Cyndi Lauper's song should have been entitled "Girls (and All Sagittarians) Just Want to Have Fun!"
Cyndi Lauper’s song should have been entitled “Girls (and All Sagittarians) Just Want to Have Fun!”

This month’s “Bodacious Business Horoscopes” blog post highlights the liveliest free spirit ever to orbit the zodiac system: Sagittarius the Archer. (FYI, Sagittarius’s symbol is actually a centaur, the wise half-man, half-horse creature from Greek mythology.)

This staunch defender of independence (day, week, month…) pursues his or her personal freedom (regardless of relationship status) from November 22 until December 21. When you need a go-getter to rally the disgruntled, disenchanted or dismayed troops, a Sagittarius is your sure thing.

Those bubbly Sagittarians you work with or employ are natural conversationalists. As such, they are the ones most likely to be your local, national or international road warriors, spreading the gospel of your business’s product or service (one story at a time).

Disclaimer: This post is a parody of Western astrology. By All Writes isn’t responsible for any disruption in your business plan’s cosmic alignment as a result of this month’s profile about the Sagittarians on your payroll. Watch out for free-flying arrows as you proceed…

Sagittarius Is the Zodiac’s Mutable Fire Sign–Here’s What It Means for Your Business: Although Sagittarius isn’t a cardinal sign, its fiery qualities denote a business professional who doesn’t hold back when calling out bad decisions or implementing change. These peeps thrive when they have room to roam.

Per my ever-useful The Zodiac Little Giant® Encyclopedia:

“Fire changes substances and Sagittarians have a knack of transforming negative situations with their optimism. Mutable means adaptable. Sagittarians can adapt to almost any situation, whether earthly or spiritual.”

Freedom’s Just Another Word for What Sagittarius Values Most at Work: One universal insight into the mind of Sagittarians: They tend to make an important career decision based on the amount of freedom/flexibility it grants them.

In other words, your energetic Archers don’t fear walking away from a job opportunity or promotion that compromises this key need. Sagittarius is a natural wanderer; you’ll need to embed a miniature GPS device in the sole of one of his or her shoes.

I’m fairly confident that James Bond, Indiana Jones, and even Forrest Gump are all Sagittarians. Yeah, just another day’s globe-trotting work…

Best gifts for your Sagittarius señors and señoritas: A lifetime membership to Exodus, a sturdy pair of hiking shoes, the DVD of Sir Richard Attenborough’s Cry Freedom, an unusual book from a faraway place, and being asked to plan your company’s next team-bonding activity.

The Archer’s Optimistic Outlook Can Boost Company Morale and Productivity: People whose sun sign is in the house of Sagittarius are the happiest employees and leaders on the block (and at your company). If this zodiac sign’s positive disposition can’t cure a fellow workmate’s “case of the Mondays,” consider it a hopeless cause.

Your Sagittarians’ most positive traits: honest and fair-minded, optimistic, sees the best in others, enthusiastic (with a capital “YES!”), open to the unexpected, doesn’t hold grudges.

Whether related to you by blood or non-disclosure agreement, Sagittarius was born to motivate your company’s downtrodden staff or unraveling project when you need inspiration most. Sagittarius is the business world’s equivalent of The Unsinkable Molly Brown!

Good Luck Getting a Sagittarian to Commit to You Forever…: All zodiac signs have their negative traits, and Sagittarius is no exception. Yes, count on your exuberant Archers to push your company’s agenda to the brighter side of success, representing you well while out of the office.

But be advised: As the zodiac system’s primary “wanderer,” Sagittarius can’t be contained by even the finest corporate benefits and perks. Don’t ever restrict an Archer’s freedoms in the workplace to a windowless room. By doing so, you beckon the dark side of this happy traveler’s persona.

Less-than-stellar traits associated with Sagittarius: impatience (these birds gotta fly!), doesn’t always plan adequately, denies emotions, doesn’t like commitment, rejects a responsibility that curtails freedom, can be blunt and argumentative.

Give a Sagittarius a Position Requiring Travel and S/He Will Give You Increased Profits: It’s no coincidence that the Archer’s wanderlust propels many Sagittarians toward careers that include opportunities to travel.

Some of the more obvious professions inhabited by many a Sagittarius: photographer, importer-exporter, ambassador and/or politician, travel agent (d’oh!), and business development (national, international–doesn’t matter!).

Additionally, Sagittarius’s love of learning and languages predispositions this sun sign to a teaching or research career.

Perhaps you’re familiar with some of the following Sagittarians:

Shirley Chisholm, a fiery lady who pierced many barriers as the first African-American congresswoman in the House of Representatives in 1968…

Walt Disney, the visionary creator of both Mickey Mouse and “The Happiest Place on Earth”…

Doris Duke, 20th-century heiress to the American Tobacco Company and Duke Energy (she was also a well-known art collector and philanthropist)…

Berry Gordy Jr., musical mastermind of the original Motown scene and sound…

Tony Hsieh, a man who continues to disrupt “business as usual” as the founder and CEO of Zappos (it all started with shoes)!

Lori Greiner (aka the “Queen of QVC”), who invented a plastic earring organizer that netted her $500 million BEFORE she became a regular on TV’s Shark Tank

Pope Francis I (Don’t dare question his inclusion on this list–he is the Vatican’s CEO, and he is spectacular!)…

Jay-Z (aka Shawn Corey Carter), who segued from hip-hop artist to music producer to globe-trotting entrepreneur (and is famously married to Queen Bey)…

A Completely Speculative Business Interpretation of Sagittarius’s Astral Assets: Here’s something you don’t see every day–a business interpretation of a zodiac sign’s ruling planet, lucky day, lucky numbers, and primary colors.

When hiring new employees, please refrain from asking about this astrological flotsam and jetsam during the interview process:

Ruling Planet = Jupiter (This planet has an alleged connection to wisdom and beneficence, so anytime is a good time to ask the Sagittarians at your company for advice or a small-cash loan…)

Lucky Day = Thursday (Which is the official start of the weekend for all Archers–ask about their travel plans before they leave for the day!)

Lucky Numbers = 3, 12, 21, 30 (All divisible by the number three, which is how many chances Sagittarius will give you to get on board with his/her travel itinerary…)

Primary Colors = Shades of blue and purple–royal blue, violet, and also red and pink (Because these peeps are such avid wanderers, another great gift for them would be luggage tags in any of these energizing colors…)

Final Snide Commentary on Sagittarius the Archer by the Author of Born on a Rotten Day: My favorite acerbic astrologer, Hazel Dixon-Cooper, considers a business ruled by a Sagittarian akin to a psychological comedy entitled The Keystone Cops Meet Frasier Crane.

More of her sly, biting insight into the Sagittarius work persona:

“Just like Frasier, Boss Archer is tactless, insensitive, and more interested in talking about himself than in listening to anyone else. Sagittarius bosses also bite off more than they can chew, because they are too arrogant to admit they are overloaded and too tight to hire more help… Sagittarian coworkers are reckless, undependable, and hard to find, especially if there’s a poker game going on in the maintenance room…They view any job, even president of the company, as little more than a means of funding their next trip to the Andes.”

 

Does Sagittarius the Archer rule your birthdate? If so, did this profile trigger any disagreeable head-shaking from you regarding accuracy? What other interpretive traits would you add to this zodiac sign from a business perspective?

For those of you with a birthday dwelling in another house, it’s possible I’ve already sliced, diced, and served up your zodiac sign’s profile in a previous blog post. (I’ve been doing this since June 2015!) Toward the end of December, I’ll finish the year with everyone’s favorite astrological goat, Capricorn.

In the meantime, please share this blog post with the brutally honest, outgoing, non-committal Sagittarius working by your side or in the next cubicle…

Lori Shapiro is the owner of By All Writes LLC, a business-to-business (B2B) writing, editing, and research company in Marlton, New Jersey. She revels in shielding her clients from the pain of writing their own print or web marketing and educational copy. Please call Lori Shapiro at 856-810-9764 or e-mail By All Writes LLC at lori@byallwrites.biz  for a no-obligation project quote today!


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