This month’s “Bodacious Business Horoscopes” entry highlights the most emotionally vacillating sun sign ever to swim against the tide: Pisces the (two) Fishes.
These aquatic marathoners of the zodiac system ebb and flow from February 19 to March 20. When you need a sensitive soul to coax others toward their professional aspirations, count on Pisces to keep the dream afloat.
Disclaimer: This post is a parody of Western astrology. By All Writes isn’t responsible for how employees and co-workers feel about your company’s ability to fulfill their emotional needs as a result of this profile about the Fishes on your payroll.
(Also: No swimming for at least one hour after reading…)
Pisces is the Zodiac’s Mutable Water Sign–Here’s What It Means for Your Business: Pisces isn’t a member of the zodiac’s cardinal-sign club. However, it more than delivers as the sun sign most able to intuit other people’s feelings. Pisceans selflessly answer many a distress signal.
According to The Zodiac Little Giant® Encyclopedia:
“Mutable means changeable, and water can change its form in many ways: rain, hail, snow, mist, frost, clouds, rainbows, warm pools, and puddles; thus, Piscean feelings can change a dozen times a day.”
Yes, Pisceans are caring business professionals, but their emotions swim up, down, and all around each workday.
For Pisces, a Workplace to Call Home Offers Variety and Scope for the Imagination: Pisces is considered the zodiac’s twelfth and final house. As such, Pisceans are the astrological sum of all 11 previous zodiac signs.
Per my newly discovered online friend, Cafe Astrology:
“This gives Pisces Suns the ability to identify with people from all walks of life–from all backgrounds–in some way. These individuals are not only changeable and adaptable, they have open minds and tremendous understanding.”
A combination of deep empathy and lack of cutthroat competitiveness means Pisceans prefer mid-level responsibilities, not the C-level suite and executive headaches. It wouldn’t surprise me to find out that Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, and Albert Einstein were all Fishes.
Best gifts for your Pisces minnows and guppies include: a book of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s poetry, a Native American dream-catcher, one of those trendy adult coloring books, and a blank fold-out map or atlas.
Compassionate Pisceans are Sensitive to Other Employees’ Sensitivities: Again, most Pisceans don’t chase the Top Gun position at work. They prefer a dreamlike work environment over the repetitive reality of making mundane business decisions.
These gentle souls immerse themselves in the creative process. They’d rather not corral their ideas into a corporate box. Your Pisceans’ most positive traits: caring, trusting and helpful, creative, mystical/otherworldly, gentle and compassionate, understanding of people’s feelings/emotions.
Whether related to you by blood or nondisclosure agreement, Pisces will swim from the surface to the lowest depths to help others. Just beware receiving a Sicilian message (à la The Godfather I) involving Luca Brasi and his bulletproof vest…
Accessing a Piscean’s Intuition Involves Navigating His/Her Bouts of Self-Pity: All zodiac signs have their negative traits, and Pisces is no exception. Never doubt a Piscean’s sincerity when supporting a workplace cause that prioritizes people over profit.
But be advised: Pisces’s sensitivity to the business world’s “soulless” highs and lows is an emotional weight to carry. Eventually, Pisceans unleash their “woe is me” inner dialogue from the other side of dreamworld.
Less-than-stellar attributes associated with your Fishes: self-pity, escapist behavior, losing a grasp on reality, becoming too emotionally involved with others’ problems/situations, sensitivity to criticism.
A Career in the Arts or a Service-Related Profession Fulfills Fishes’ Dreams: Above all else, a Pisces values a career that allows him or her freedom of expression. That’s why this sun sign seeks a self-directed opportunity or position rather than the executive limelight.
When Pisceans are part of a staff or team, they prefer assignments involving constant change (so they don’t get bored).
I’m not saying you won’t find Pisces behind a desk via a corporate job. It’s just that Fishes would rather swim in creative pools of water: film, theater, television, radio, ballet, music, fashion, and art. Because they can’t walk away from people in distress, Pisceans also gravitate to charitable work and nursing.
Perhaps you’ve observed these famous forms of marine life at a nearby aquarium:
André Courrèges, a fashion designer and modernist who nudged the world of fashion into the “Space Age” during the 1960s…
Ruth Bader Ginsberg, the Supreme Court associate justice also known as “The Notorious R.B.G.”
Steve Jobs, inventor and Apple Inc. founder who epitomized the temperamental conflict within some Pisceans (by loving his ideas more than his people)…
Marjorie Merriweather Post, lifetime philanthropist, socialite, and heiress (she was the daughter of C. W. Post, founder of the Postum Cereal Company) who founded the General Foods Corporation…
Michelangelo, a true “Renaissance Man” who filled Pisces’s creative bucket: painter, architect, poet, and sculptor…
Rupert Murdoch, founder of the omnipresent News Organization, now engaged to wife number four, Jerry Hall; I shall refrain…
Nina Simone, the soulful pianist and singer who was also a passionate civil-rights activist…
A Completely Speculative Business Interpretation of Pisces’s Astral Assets: Here’s something you don’t see every day–a business interpretation of a zodiac sign’s ruling planet, lucky day, lucky number(s), and primary colors.
When hiring new employees, please refrain from asking about these astrological bits and pieces during interviews:
Ruling Planets = Jupiter and Neptune (I previously discussed Jupiter’s reputation for wisdom and generosity in Sagittarius’s “Bodacious Business Horoscope.” As the planet of dreams and unconscious plans, Neptune is Pisces’s ultimate swimming hole…)
Lucky Day = Thursday (Friday is too obvious a day for Pisceans to discuss their dreamy weekend plans; they start on Thursday…)
Primary Colors = All shades of violet (mauve, lilac, purple), and sea green (An especially dreamy color, violet dominates a Piscean’s office decor and walls…)
Final Snide Commentary on Pisces by the Author of Born on a Rotten Day: FYI, the Pisces chapter in Hazel Dixon Cooper’s satirical book is subtitled “Welcome to the Twilight Zone.” That’s what I call the antithesis of “California Dreamin’!” Here’s her assessment of corporate-world Pisceans:
“The only thing rarer than a Fish at the top of a corporate ladder is twenty-dollar steak. To a Pisces, sitting in an office all day, every day, doing the same thing day in and day out is cruel and unusual punishment…If you do have a Pisces boss, you will probably see him or her only a couple of days a month…Not only do your Pisces’s coworkers not want your job, they don’t want theirs…Instead of trying to usurp your position in any business situation, Pisces prefers to sit around and bitch about how much better he or she could do it.”
Do Pisces’s two Fishes rule your birthdate? If so, did this profile stimulate any fin-slapping from you upon the water’s surface regarding accuracy? What other interpretive traits would you add to this zodiac sign from a business perspective?
For those of you with a birthday dwelling in another house, I’ve probably already reeled in your zodiac sign’s profile–hook, line, and sinker (i.e., a previous “Bodacious Business Horoscope”). Toward the end of March, I’ll tread lightly around the zodiac’s not-so-secret battering ram: Aries.
In the meantime, please share this blog post with the Pisces guy or gal one cubicle or office over who’s lost in a dreamworld way cooler than yours…
Lori Shapiro is the owner of By All Writes LLC, a business-to-business (B2B) company in Marlton, New Jersey, that plies its trade via copywriting, editing, and other content-marketing services. She revels in shielding her clients from the time-consuming pain of writing their own print or web marketing and promotional copy.
Please call Lori Shapiro of By All Writes LLC at 856-810-9764 (or e-mail her via email@example.com) to schedule a gratis 20-minute consultation that will resolve your current copywriting or editing dilemma…